Outreach Letter to a Birth Mother on Behalf of an Adoptive Parent

 

 

Dear Birth Mother:

The White Oak Foundation is a non-profit-making organization which provides post-adoption assistance to adopted persons who were born, adopted or are currently residing in Illinois and their birth and adoptive families.  A copy of our brochure is enclosed with this letter.  

A little over a month ago, we were contacted by the adoptive parents of a female adoptee who was born in Geneva Illinois, on February 10, 1982, and adopted shortly after birth. The adoptive parents would like to help their daughter initiate contact with her biological family.

Based on the adoption papers provided to the adoptive parents at the time of the adoption, their daughter's birth mother's name was Mary P. Hudson. Through publicly available databases we were able to narrow this search down to a single person. This was the process which led us to you.

Although every precaution was taken to make sure that this letter arrived at the desired destination, there is always the possibility that this envelope has arrived on the wrong doorstep.  If this is the case, please simply return the enclosed forms, as well as the picture of the adoptee, to us in the provided self-addressed, stamped envelope.

If, on the other hand, the particulars of this adoptee's birth and adoption strike a familiar chord, your reaction to this letter and the enclosed note may be one of joy, dismay, or a little of both.  As a birth mother (who was happily reunited with a daughter surrendered in 1967 in April of 1996), I am well aware of the wide range of emotions that this letter may provoke.

It is very possible that, like an estimated 90% of birth mothers, you have often wondered what became of the daughter you surrendered for adoption, and long ached to know if your daughter shared your desire to reunite with the past.  If this is the case, this letter is probably very, very good news. Please feel free to call me at the number at the top of this letterhead for additional details.

It is also possible that, like far too many birth mothers, you were encouraged to deceive family and friends about this 1982 birth, and that, as a result, few in your immediate family are aware of this painful chapter in your past. If this is the case, you may not be comfortable contacting the adoptive family directly at this point in time, and can either complete the attached form or call me to explore how we might approach this in as discreet a manner as possible.

The third possibility is that, even though I am certain you have often thought of your daughter over the past 19 years, you just do not feel that you can consider a reunion at this point in time. Although your birth daughter will undoubtedly be very disappointed to learn this, she would, of course, be totally respectful of your wishes with regard to any possible contact. Again, you have the choice of either contacting us directly or completing the attached form and returning it to us. However, should you choose not to pursue this matter, I would like to strongly urge you to complete the medical section of the enclosed questionnaire.  Although the majority of adoptees have an understandable curiosity to know their birth roots, they all have an important—and compelling—need to know their medical background. Any medical history you could provide to your birth daughter would be greatly appreciated and could not only allow her to take preventative action, but could, in many cases, also prolong or save her life.

Although I certainly have no way of predicting your reaction to this letter, I can tell you that, if you are the birth mother who was the object of this search, you have every reason to be extremely proud of the daughter you brought into the world in 1982. She is an attractive, intelligent and accomplished young woman who will, whatever your decision, be very relieved to learn that her long search has finally come to an end. 

With best regards,

 

Melisha Mitchell
Executive Director
The White Oak Foundation